Nov. 7, 2021

Adult Friendships are Weird

Adult Friendships are Weird

There’s this idea that the five people you are surrounded by, or closest to, will have the biggest effect on you. But what if you've grown apart from a friend that you used to love?  If you are forcing yourself to stay in that closeness when...


There’s this idea that the five people you are surrounded by, or closest to, will have the biggest effect on you. But what if you've grown apart from a friend that you used to love?  If you are forcing yourself to stay in that closeness when it isn't honoring you, it's probably affecting you in a way that may not be authentic or in alignment with who you are anymore. And that's okay!  Today we talk about finding adult friendships and how they differ, how friendships and people change, and how outgrowing friends is part of life.  We also cover the magic moment of choosing to free yourself from having expectations – which aren't the same thing as boundaries – and how your friendship triggers are often a juicy invite to learn more about the parts of yourself you aren't accepting.  We get vulnerable about a scary time when our friendship was almost ended. We also share some personal experiences on valuing our own messiness, as well as what radical acceptance is – and isn't.  Lastly, the conversation tackles some brave first moves to make friendships as an adult, remembering that no one really has it all together! We all deserve the support and growth of genuine friendships. Tune in and deep dive into it all with us today!

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Key Points From This Episode:

  • It’s okay to sometimes outgrow your friends!
  • How personality is contextual; you don’t behave the same in front of different people. 
  • How bringing up a shift or change in friendship dynamics is something we should do more often; people can surprise you by being more open to the conversation than you may think.
  • Why you need to get off the self-deprecating train. 
  • Tips on imagining/visualizing difficult conversations.
  • Why you should give yourself permission to be “not okay” with unhealthy aspects of a friendship.
  • Creating safe spaces for people to be their authentic, vulnerable self is important in friendships.
  • One-sided friendships; giving the other person a chance and not just assuming. 
  • The “F- You” mentality and how that isn’t conducive to healthy friendships. 
  • Reflecting on a vulnerable time when Emily and Sarah fought for their friendship.
  • Throwing caution to the wind and speaking your truth, even if you feel scared and alone. 
  • Taking ownership of your desire to control and 'improve' your friends.
  • How radical acceptance doesn't mean abandoning your own needs and boundaries.
  • Turning your gaze inward to see what unaccepted parts of yourself are being mirrored in your friendship difficulties. 
  • Learning to value your own messiness.
  • Consciously checking in with how a friendship makes you feel.
  • It's okay if not everyone likes you, it just means that person is not for you!
  • Cracking open empathy; you never know what baggage someone else is carrying.
  • How do you make friends as an adult?
  • We give you some beautiful homework to reach out to that person you want a friendship with!

 

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Sarah Turner on Instagram 

Emily Pennystone on Instagram